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  • Rachel E. Reed

Why don't Women ask for Help?

Updated: Mar 27

The dishes are piling up, the trash is overflowing, the kids are crying and need a bath. The dining room is full of crumbs and half eaten lunches, the living room is scattered with toys. Up to our ears in diapers and as if being splashed in the face with milk wasn't bad enough now this toddler is throwing a tantrum because she couldn't play with a rectal thermometer. I know if someone came by and knocked on the door and forced you to go take a shower you would reluctantly smell your underarms and insist you can go the rest of the day until your husband gets home. Ladies, why do we do this? Why can't we ask for help? When that friend who genuinely told you to call her when you need a break, or when she can help with the dishes or laundry, but instead of taking up the offer, you reply with, "Thank you that's so sweet sure I'll call you." But you never call. By the way, this is me. I dont know if anyone else can relate, but this question came across my mind today, why don't we ever ask for help? We know we need it. We know one more day of dry shampoo just wont cut it. We know that we are down to the thong section in our panty drawer and are in need of clean laundry. We know that we need dishwasher pods or else those dishes will just stay in the dishwasher for eternity. Yet we struggle with asking for help. It's like we feel guilty for admitting that we aren't superwomen and can't physically do it all by ourselves. We feel guilty to ask the man who has been working all day to help with laundry because we've been home all day and somehow managed to let it get wrinkled. We feel guilty to call our friend because then she might now that we are actually human and can't seem to do dishes with a crying baby in our arms. Reality is we need help. Especially those of us with little ones. I need help. I didn't realize it until my friend came and forced me to take a shower while she held my babies and I felt so much better afterwards. I don't know why we as women feel ashamed to ask for help. Almost like we would rather die first. I wonder if it's a bit of pride that keeps us from being real and saying man, this is hard and I can't do it on my own. Things pile up when you have a toddler and a newborn and life isn't easy when we try to accommodate their every need. In the mean time our needs go unfulfilled. It isn't healthy; not asking for help. There comes a time when we have to just let go and learn how to receive. We give so much of ourselves all day long. We need that friend to come over and vaccum the smushed crackers out of the carpet while we breast feed or try to spend quality time with our toddler. So stop acting like we don't. It's just on my heart today and I'm preaching to the choir I know, I am the choir ok. I am the worst of these, but let's get serious ladies. Let's start to be there for one another, let's start to accept help as well as hand it out when you see another mother in need. Let's be real with one another because motherhood is far from perfect and it gets dirty. And we need help!

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