Long time no write
Its been a long time since I've actually had time to sit down and write a blog. I've been dealing with a teething one year old, a high risk pregnancy, and I've been sick on and off for about a month now. I've had a lot of time to just think, reflect, pray and really see where God is trying to take this blog. I know I've been almost informative here and giving out lots of my heart and Scriptures and encouragemnt. While all of this is good, its tiring. Trying to come up with perfect posts and eye catching blogs, and worrying about if it's the right content or not can be overwhelming. My consistency in life is almost at zero. I've been trying to work on finding balance between my family, my relationship with Jesus, being worship leader at my church and now in the process of publishing my first book. I also am in need to quickly start on my second book so I dont leave yall hanging from the first! All the while my little sweet Naomi is climbing all over my lap everytime I get on the computer and trying to type one handed is far from an easy task. I say all this not for pity, but just to show that I'm a real person with real problems and life isn't easy. With this pregnancy, I struggle with sadness and overwhelming emotions most days that make it hard to encourage others. I struggle with feelings of being a bad mom because I lose my temper after my daughter touches the toilet bowl brush for the umpteenth time. I find it hard these days to see past my own struggles to even remotely want to serve my selfless husband. I am just human. I feel like for so long I've been trying to be this polished writer who has her skills in order and who wants to be successful, but I think I was missing the point. Recently God brought it to my attention that the reason I even write today is because of everything I went through in my life up to this day. He searched my heart and revealed to me what true success is. He showed me that it isn't about the number of likes or the number of books sold. It isn't about the perfect "about the author" paragraph on the back of the book. It's about HIM. My life is hidden in Christ. Everything I do should point to the one who made it all possible. If that means donating every single one of the "free copies" of my book to a jail, rehab or women's transitional house, then to God be the glory. Success is knowing that I am no longer bound to the sin of drug addiction. It is being free, really meaning it and really living it. Not just talking about it. It's not about the number of copies I sell. It's about taking the profit I do get and sewing it into a home that will forever change a woman's life. This blog is being shaped and molded to look more like Christ each time I write. I believe the direction it is headed is more like authenticity than anything else. Because in this world of plastic and push up bras I believe we need of just that, authenticity! This isnt about me yall, it's about the One who created me. I want to look more like Him and less like a blogger or author or anything else for that matter. Thanks for the read yall! God bless!